1st January 2017

I’d like to say I am not one to regularly get caught up in my feelings, but after having re-watched the episode of Glee, when Kurt’s dad and Finn’s mom get married; there I was, fully stationed at emotion junction.

After 3 years of sharing my life with someone, 2016 was my first year single. I have just turned closer to 30 and I am living in the home I grew up in. Who would want to actually marry me now?

Date me, sure, I am a freakin’ good time, but to actually spend the rest of their life with me, start a family, die with me? (All subject to terms and conditions, obviously!) – On the shelf I will stay.

Everyone getting engaged this winter has just reaffirmed that I am on the path to being that “Favourite Aunt”. You know the one, that has the best stories of when she went to that party, woke up with Mars ice-cream in her hands, hair and bed because she’s a goddam mess! (True story)

Should I just call it quits? Forget about ever finding someone? I can’t even say let me go buy my cats now because I hate cats and my mum is “allergic”.

I wiped my tears away and took a deep breath. Despite a case of heartbreak avenue at the end of 2015, I can say 2016 has been a blast. – A few ups and downs and it was a bit touch and go when I contracted Influenza mid-way through December, but STILL HERE!

I won’t waste anymore tears or time worrying about the state of my future love life! I just need to concentrate on the here and now.

Let us raise a glass to 2016 whilst giving a shoutout to 2017.







Tinder, Bumble & Happn.

2016 and single, this is what I am working with.

I’ve had people say to me before, Mel, what you doing on a dating app? You can get someone no problem.

1st of all, if I had to rely on getting someone to walk up to me and sweep me off my feet based solely on my looks, I would remain single for a very long time. 2nd of all…yeah, please refer to my 1st of all.

In Real Life, the options are being chatted up at a bar, street or work;

The guy at the bar is only interested on where I’ll end up later that night.

The guy on the street is trying to sell me drugs or telling me to “smile, it could be worse” – yeah mate, it’s worse. I’m single, 20-something but closer to the 30-something and I live at home. It’s worse.

The guy at work is married or having sex with the girl from work who everybody thinks is hot, but she a nice from far, far from nice type of girl.

In the virtual world, there seems to be an allusion that you somewhat know what you are getting into and for a dating pro such as myself, this is just easier..I think.

Tinder – Find someone on here, basically looking for a hook up. In this day and age, you aren’t on Tinder to find the love of your life. If you are, you are the exception, not the rule.

Happn – To find people that you cross paths with and by cross paths, I mean come across all the men that walk past your house or that you’ve walked past in Westfield.

Bumble – Why hello! Find good looking men and if you match, I have to message him first and throw in some time restrictions for the buzz. Let the anxiety begin!

What I’m trying to get at is dating IRL is hard. It is easier, to whack up some photos of you looking your best, add a witty line or 2 about how I am yet to meet someone as funny or funnier than me and bam, a dating profile is born (again).

I guess we will see…

M x



Game Over

At what point after a breakup should you move on?

1 month, 6 months, 1 year?

Apparently they say that you need to halve the length of your relationship and that is how much time you need.


When things aren’t going great, have you ever felt vulnerable and all you want is reassurance that everything will turn out ok? Yeah, I hear you, I hear that urge. So you pluck up the courage and give your boyfriend ex-boyfriend a little Whatsapp to be met with a response that cuts like a Flat Iron steak knife. Sharp.

“What don’t you understand about space?”


I understand that I am single now and I raise your rejection with Tinder.

*Opens App store > types in Tinder > presses Get > opens Tinder > creates profile > swipes right*


I spent the last 9 months being mindful that I shouldn’t blog on WOTB, for fear I could hurt my ex’s feelings with my words.

No-one wants to know what their ex gets up to, let alone read it on their blog that is basically about dating!

I was so concerned about his feelings that I went to the trouble of creating a brand new blog, made it anonymous and shared it on the pretence it was someone else.

But why though?

It was more hassle than it was worth and I don’t see why I should put myself out any longer.

So tonight, in bed, full of a cold and feeling quite irritated at the fact that I felt I should have to do that, I have made the decision that IDC.

I don’t care anymore and I actually don’t want to live my life, concerned with what he might think about me. If you don’t want to know or read about it, don’t click on http://www.wordontheb.wordpress.com – just don’t do it. Work on that self-control papi.

My blog isn’t about you and how you feel about me dating after we’ve split up. It is not about me trying to purposefully hurt your feelings. It is about me, my life and how I enjoy writing about it!

So basically, the point of this post is to say, I’m back on WOTB and I will bring over the posts that I wrote and share them on here.

I hope you enjoy xx



Dear Diary – 14th June

Today was a hectic day at work. No doubt. I finished it with a stroll home, shades on and feeling mighty fly.

I touch my fob to the main entrance to what was a once notorious estate that the police would rather not frequent, to what is now an estate that police have no issues coming into because there are sill f*cking trouble makers lurking around.

I can’t even call them youths, I’ll call them urban street walkers and they are, quite frankly, pieces of shit that need to go home and watch a wholesome telenovela like Jane the Virgin.

I digress.

So I get in, I put my PJs on, try on my new Kylie Lip Kits that arrived today, and WhatsApp my amazing MUA heaux, filling her in on my scientific findings.

I then rustle up a little Chicken Cesar Salad for dinner, just in time for Love Island. (Nathan and Cara for the win, despite Terry being a sexy piece of man meat) – I love to tweet live whilst watching Love Island – hit me up; @melaniecarlos

Once ArgueIsland was over, I washed up my dishes, cut up some veg for work time snacks (no more sugary/fatty snacks for me!) and then headed back to my room.

Hopefully I’m not alone in my next sentence, but you know when you just find yourself on Instagram, scrolling through your feed. Do you ever find yourself on your own photos? Scrolling back through time to to see how you’ve progressed as an international award winning insta-photographer of food, friends and importantly, yourself? Well that was me tonight.

I found myself transported back to 2014 at a picture of me and my ex boyfriend at a wedding.

We’ve been apart for around 6 months and that picture hadn’t evoked any emotion before…But tonight? Tonight it did.


If anyone has the answer to this, it’d be great to know, because up until now, I definitely felt that the right decision had been made. Was I wrong?

Was I just feeling emotional from watching Love Island? Seeing all those sexy couples, being affectionate towards each other. Maybe I’m just missing the companionship and the mutual feeling of adoration.

Was it because I was listening to Beyonce’s Lemonade and she’s got me feeling all kind of ways?

The crippling doubts start to creep back…Keep it together Mel. Nothing wrong with a little stroll down memory lane.

You got this.

Or do I?

Ready, set, delete.



The last couple months have been something…I spent the last 2 weeks really THINKING about life.

As a result, 20 minutes ago, I made a decision that would affect my immediate future. I was confident with my decision and I was ready to get ready for work tomorrow with that in mind.

I turn on my overused and yet weirdly neglected MacBook Pro and clickety click onto WordPress. (I use Google Chrome; incase you wanted to really know how I do)

I struggle for about 10 minutes, as I try to remember my password. It’s been a bloody age since I actually pressed the “Publish” button.

I’m in. Title, done. Today’s date, Sunday…wait, WHAT, it is Saturday, 2nd January 2016. It is not Sunday. I do not have work tomorrow. Tomorrow is not Monday.

Oh shit.

So the decision that I made, is it still valid? I have an extra day to mull it over. 85% of me knows the way Monday will play out… But what if I change my mind in 24 hours?

Bloody hell indeed…


The Year Is Still Young

Almost 4 months into 2015, and what do I have to show for myself?

I haven’t been to the gym since January, I am eating junk food as if I am back in 2012 and I am not quite sure what is happening to Word on the Blog.

Have I lost my way? Duh -of course I have. All the things I used to enjoy, I no longer do. Out of laziness? Too busy/preoccupied? Whatever the reason, they are all excuses.

I meet new people all the time and tell them of the blog that once was, and they only have encouraging words to say;

“I hope you get back into it…”

“Don’t lose it…Keep writing!”

“You just need to find something else to write about!”

If only it was that easy…

Well the year is young so I still have time to turn things around!

I can tell you the positives so far! I left my old company, for a new company 7 months ago. I then got the opportunity for a career change and I have taken it and heading back to my old stomping ground to get it started.  So here is to a fresh, new and exciting new start, but with my former company!

As I write this post, it has been 2 years since I first met my knight in shining armour and I couldn’t be happier! 🙂

I have been dedicating a lot of time to American Television. I think it’s best to join me on my already completed journey with How To Get Away With Murder, Empire and Jane the Virgin.

Let’s hope that I will cut down on the TV, get out and about and tune in a lot more to give you updates on me and my journey through 2015!


x M x

Made in Chelsea – NYC- Episode 3 Review

Sneaking my iPad mini and headphones into bed so I can catch up and review.

I believe I have 40 minutes before the boyf wakes from his slumber!

……..Why has nothing interesting happened and I’m a good 10 minutes in…

Louise on a dog date with Alix, Jules creeping on Rosie and Mark Francis shocked at Victoria eating a hotdog from a food cart.


Little laughs with Jamie being put in the “I’m not gay” situation.

Ahah! Famous last words, “Jules is not shady”

Cue his polyamorist girlfriend…with the whole, they don’t understand us act. 👀 creeps.

I didn’t think the sight of Jamie almost choking on a sweet would be that funny but I’ve seen that twice now and cracks me up each time! Haha

Stevie, Billie, Spencer…..hahaha

I loved watching Lucy enjoying telling spencer that Stevie was on a date “at present”.

OMG. Gabriella. The birthday present that sings….

What is she doing in LA? I thought she was in Europe? Chasing a dead end career? My bad.

Spencer…freaking out? Quite uncomfortable really…he’s actually super ugly in this mode….

So, the race is on with Spencer and Stevie for Billie’s affection.

Next time looks like it will be centred around her and creepy Jules…great.

Until next time…

x M x


Made in Chelsea – NYC – Episode 2 Review

It’s Bank Holiday Monday, the rain is pouring down and the first thing on my mind is that I haven’t written up my review of last weeks MIC!

How rude of me! I was so engrossed with the cringe factor that I even forgot to live-tweet!

Before I get started, I just want to reaffirm the coolness that is Proudlock. He is just effortlessly cool.

Spencer; I was impressed by the rain drop sounds, but I feel like I can’t trust E4, therefore I don’t believe that was real.

JULES, what is his deal?!?? Spread happiness, be happiness or be super cringe?! Is he for real?

Obviously Victoria and Mark Francis in a church. Yes, yes and yes again.

Lucy, is my ultimate female favourite. Telling Jamie how it is. I was enjoying the honest moment, until Riley came through with her stalkerish new hair. What the fuck?

“You’ll never guess where I am?” – Erm, what’s next? I spy with my little eye? Alex, you little loser.

Jules, again. His serial killer eyes. 👀

Jules again at the party. Just creeping me out. 👀👀

The power-strut from Binky through Central Park. Boom.

Alex and Binky; it was great watching him grovel but shit got good when Jamie turned up!

The lies, the tears, the betrayal! I mean if Spencer is bewildered at his behaviour then you know Mytt is in trouble.

Alex, LOL “categorically, I did not kiss her.” So Alex what you’re saying is you doggy styled Jamie’s ex! *laughs hysterically”

I can’t even feel sorry for Jamie, because his boy code is messed up and I’ve watched too much of him in the last few years to shed any tears.

Spencer and Stevie chasing after Billie, my thoughts you ask. I don’t really have any…she’s a bit blah and therefore the situation is a bit blah.

I just wanted to comment on the ultimate moment of the episode, when Alex and Binky looked at each other before she got in the car……………..stand, stare, turn head, pause and get in. Hahaha

That now concludes my review for episode 2.

Episode 3 coming up!

x M x


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