Thinking out loud – 25th June 2017

Recently, I’ve been talking about my blog to a few guys. Some have said that I should get writing again, explore my creativity. Others have passively suggested that what I do is “harsh” and for someone to put their thoughts and feelings of not only their own, but their opinion of other people up on the world wide web, must make that person so vulnerable and they personally couldn’t do it.

When people question my method and why I do it, I start to doubt myself. Why do I do it? Do I not worry that the guy will read what I have written? Do I stress that I might hurt their feelings? So many questions!

Hold on a minute, why am I even letting the negative thoughts take over, I don’t write anywhere near as often as I used to and when I do, not every post is about a bad date!

Even if I am posting about my dates, this is my creative outlet. No-one is forcing you to read this. This is my diary, my journal, my thoughts, my life. I feel comfortable enough to share it.

It does make me think about whether I should tell “love” interests about it. At the moment I haven’t been telling every guy. The past 18 months I have probably only told  2 or 3 guys. I don’t know whether that is to save myself from their reactions or to keep them away from the blog so I can write about them! I couldn’t really say. Maybe a bit of both…

I’ve never told a guy where to find my blog, but if the guy is curious and they do a little stalking, it’s just so easy to find my blog. If they make it to Instagram, there’s my blog link. Every now and again on my Insta-story (and Snapchat), I take a snap of me writing. If we become friends on Facebook, I share my posts on there too. So….there you go…if they want to find it, they can and will.

For some unexplained reason, I have stopped writing about anyone that I really like. Actually, there is a reason and it is definitely to do with the fact no one really enjoys me when I am happy. I am at my best when I am miserable and complaining about a bad date. A bad date is more interesting right? Why do I want to write about a good date anymore for it to go completely sour after the 3rd or 4th date. It happens all too often with me. Remember Rick the Prick?

I looked back on a few posts from 3/4 years ago and the way I expressed myself was definitely harsher than how I write now. A little brutal actually! Anyone who dates me now is living an easier existence as far as I am concerned.

Don’t get me wrong, there are some things that I write and I have to keep them as drafts. Not everything needs to be posted. It works as a therapeutic release for me and it is always interesting to read back!

I side track. Blogging my life, my dating, my thoughts and emotions on the whole bloody thing is something that I enjoy and would like to keep doing…

That is all.

For now.



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