I like my guy to be assertive. Sexually agressive. Charming. Chivalrous. Handsome.

You would think with that specific checklist, every guy I meet and choose to spend my time with meets the criteria. Dear readers, that’s really not the case, and I rarely get to tick all of those boxes.

I had a date planned with a guy I’d been chatting to on Bumble for about 48 hours.

I’d purposely made plans that evening, so if the date was shit, I could prance off to have a good night out with my friends.

So imagine my face when I met one that made me put my list down and pay attention! I’m sitting in a booth and this handsome Italian guy walks up to me. Good hair, good teeth, great smile! (Could have been taller, but I tend to attract the 5’8″ of the world, at peace with it!)

There were no concerns about having to make excuses to try and leave the date early. We were having a great time, so good we even ended up taking a polaroid selfie! He was a charming chatterbox and I didn’t want the date to end and neither did he.

He was so confident, he decided to delete Bumble from my phone and said “you won’t need it anymore” – bold move pal.

I was already 1 hour late to meet the team and he was doing his best to convince me to ditch them and continue the night with him. He wouldn’t have had to try very hard but I managed to tear myself away. I had to leave.

Our first date included us passionately kissing in the bar, outside and then on the way to the station. *massive grin on my face* – I loved it!

When I turned up at Bounce in Old Street, 2 hours after the agreed meet time, I was given a grilling, not because I was super late and tipsy, but because my hair was dishevelled…Oops. (Note to self, look in a mirror more often!)

I spent the rest of the evening with a smile on my face and hair out of place.**

(**Not really, I fixed my hair, but it read really nicely.)

We spent the best part of 2 months hanging out together having a good time and I didn’t even bother downloading Bumble again after that first date!

During said time…those pesky red flags came up didn’t they. UGH.

  1. He smoked IN bed and in his room  (I got him to stop that straight away)
  2. The topic of my blog came up. His reaction was most unpleasant! He wasn’t down for me to be blogging about people. We had to agree to disagree as we got into a teeny tiny little argument a bout it..How ironic that I am writing about him now…
  3. He decided to call me out on what he thought were my flaws. Well why thank you sir, that’s exactly what I wanted to hear on a date, waiting for my food to arrive, of how you think I am crap. (I internalised my upset and added that to the things that I know is wrong with me but I will probably do nothing about because it’s my goddamn personality.)
  4. Finding it absolutely hilarious that a waitress asked him why whenever he comes to this particular restaurant, he is always with a different girl and proceeds to find it SO FUNNY that he must share this piece of information with me. (Our first date was where I’ve been on countless of dates, don’t see me telling you asshole!)
  5. He stepped on my vans.

The funny thing is, him stepping on my Vans was the red flag that I couldn’t get over. The nail in the coffin some might say. Call me silly, shallow, stupid. But, I just couldn’t make sense of him doing that and I couldn’t get my head around it.

WHO GOES AROUND STEPPING ON PEOPLE’S SHOES ON PURPOSE? TELL ME!

His reaction, was arrogant and bewildering. He just wasn’t sorry, he said he saw that I had new shoes on and thought it would be funny to step on them. He wasn’t about to apologise and he didn’t give a shit if it annoyed me. His words, not mine.

He went on to say that he’s done it before, and he’ll do it again. Serial shoe stepper!

I didn’t really fancy him after that..his bad attitude was the biggest turn off. We agreed to call it quits and by agree, we just didn’t speak to each other after a while.

He was all those things that were on my checklist; Sexually agressive. Charming. Chivalrous. Handsome but dammit, his attitude stank and realistically, we were never on the same page about life/values. It was genuinely fun whilst it lasted and I guess we both knew it would be a short term thing. The polaroid has now been slotted into my photo album for memories-sake!

My initial thought was to jump back on Bumble, but instead, I deleted myself from it completely and decided to give dating up for a while. The checklist has been filed away and shenanigans should cease.

What will I do with myself without dating? I suppose you’ll just have to keep reading…