Today was a hectic day at work. No doubt. I finished it with a stroll home, shades on and feeling mighty fly.

I touch my fob to the main entrance to what was a once notorious estate that the police would rather not frequent, to what is now an estate that police have no issues coming into because there are sill f*cking trouble makers lurking around.

I can’t even call them youths, I’ll call them urban street walkers and they are, quite frankly, pieces of shit that need to go home and watch a wholesome telenovela like Jane the Virgin.

I digress.

So I get in, I put my PJs on, try on my new Kylie Lip Kits that arrived today, and WhatsApp my amazing MUA heaux, filling her in on my scientific findings.

I then rustle up a little Chicken Cesar Salad for dinner, just in time for Love Island. (Nathan and Cara for the win, despite Terry being a sexy piece of man meat) – I love to tweet live whilst watching Love Island – hit me up; @melaniecarlos

Once ArgueIsland was over, I washed up my dishes, cut up some veg for work time snacks (no more sugary/fatty snacks for me!) and then headed back to my room.

Hopefully I’m not alone in my next sentence, but you know when you just find yourself on Instagram, scrolling through your feed. Do you ever find yourself on your own photos? Scrolling back through time to to see how you’ve progressed as an international award winning insta-photographer of food, friends and importantly, yourself? Well that was me tonight.

I found myself transported back to 2014 at a picture of me and my ex boyfriend at a wedding.

We’ve been apart for around 6 months and that picture hadn’t evoked any emotion before…But tonight? Tonight it did.

Why?

If anyone has the answer to this, it’d be great to know, because up until now, I definitely felt that the right decision had been made. Was I wrong?

Was I just feeling emotional from watching Love Island? Seeing all those sexy couples, being affectionate towards each other. Maybe I’m just missing the companionship and the mutual feeling of adoration.

Was it because I was listening to Beyonce’s Lemonade and she’s got me feeling all kind of ways?

The crippling doubts start to creep back…Keep it together Mel. Nothing wrong with a little stroll down memory lane.

You got this.

Or do I?

Ready, set, delete.

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