I eat, therefore I am.

Today’s food choices have been bang on! I Loved every bite!!


I wish i added more avocado! Yum yum yum!

Breakfast; Salmon, 2 fried eggs, half an avocado & a pot of blueberries

Beef Stir Fry - Lunch

This was cooked to perfection!

Lunch; Beef stir-fry.


Light & loaded.

Dinner; Bacon, prawns, peas, tomatoes with Brown rice.

Absolutely delicious and all under 500 calories each. Yaaaay!

I need to get in the habit of preparing my meals and snacks otherwise I fall prey to my weaknesses. (Sweet and salty popcorn & ice cream! Ask Sean, he’ll tell you about my cravings! Hohohoh)

I feel satisfied and I am getting into this whole drinking water malarkey! Apparently it’s good for you. #gofigure

I’ve also signed up to my very first graze box so I don’t fall prey to getting crap from the canteen or shop for snacks. That should be
fun. A little surprise in a box! Hopefully that might curb my need to get deliveries at work!

On that note, have a lovely evening and even sweeter dreams!


Kisses xx


Why? (Shakka @ Barfly)

A quick one my friends. Nothing too taxing.

My question is for those that go to concerts or gigs and whip out the biggest phone/tablet.

Why the need? Is there a reason why you paid £x for this show yet you watch it through a camera lens?

Are you on the video production team? Am I missing something?

The worst, the worst are the ones who whip out their iPad. Why? I ask again, WHY? What happened to a simple phone for snap snap pictures.

Tell me your reason for this? Do you not like the artist? I thought Shakka (with 2 K’s) was particularly fabulous tonight. However, I refrained from filming the whole bloody set.

It could have been because my side eye couldn’t help being BLINDED by your FAT STINKING SAMSUNG. The size of an iPad may I add.

I almost home, my rant is over and the tube strike will make getting to St Pancras in the morning a ball-ache.

Kisses x

The One About The Gym [Part 2]

photo 220 days later and a few selfies, I found myself back in gym mode!

My tiny little T-Rex arms needed working out. Yesterday was a good day, so good, I all I could smell was success.

I was so in the zone, I almost forgot to spot my gym non-friends. I spotted the bumbling buffoon who almost knocked me out in Thursday’s Jungle Jam class. – Listen mate, it’s step, step, fly. Not step, step, smack.

We’ve got some newbies in the house, quite a few of them. Think they might have arrived on earth from the planet “I don’t train legs”. Upside down triangles fo’ sho’.

Look at me, who do I think I am? Commenting on other people’s physiques! (Used to do that anyway, but in a more, “I’m a bitch kinda way”) - Next I’ll become one of those personal trainers that don’t look like they’ve trained a day in their life, but still see fit to instruct people…

On a more serious note, have any of your had a gait analysis done? Did you benefit from it? What type of runner are you? I don’t spend a lot of time on the treadmill, but when I do, I feel the strain on my ankles with my Nike Free Runs 5.0. I really need to get that analysis done, corrective supportive running/training footwear is important! Any recommendations on trainers is welcome!

I had been eating well and cooking my food, but I felt as soon as I joined the gym, my appetite has become insatiable and I’ve been eating anything and everything, without a care in the world. I’ve grown a hunger for food that rivals my boyfriend’s! I need to fuel this body, but I need to fuel it with the right stuff otherwise this whole new life change will be pointless.

Kisses x

Toilet Selfie

The One About The Gym [Part 1]

Thursday is normally Gym day. You would normally find me in a class after work raving to Jungle Music or shaking my hips to those Reggaeton beats.

Alas, I am ill. Not well enough to head out to the gym nor am I able to shake that ting. My body has failed me and I am bed bound and wondering what I have done in the past week that is punishing me by putting me out of action.

Despite only having been once this week, I remember all to well the characters of my favourite training studio.

Let me start with the bubbly and super friendly receptionist team. Nothing is too much for them. Not even my stupidity when it came to them asking to take a photo of me and me trying to get my driving licence out (provisional) for them to use for the picture. Oh no, it was them, taking a picture of me, standing there, in my yellow canary Zara coat. Thank you, good man. Thank you for catching me unaware, in my gym gear and scraped back hair. Thanks.

After you’ve spent a dying age trying to get your membership card to scan, you get through to the members only area. It’s hit and miss as to whether you will get a whiff of BO. It totally depends on the day. I find Tuesdays to be the stinkiest.

The triumphant walk you take up the stairs to the changing rooms stays with you. Why? Because you’ve made it to the gym and once you enter, there is no turning back!

Pop your shit in the locker, then you head out the back way so you can walk past all the people training and judge them.

The warm up area is my favourite part of the session. Who cannot have a good time watching the vanity girl. She stretches, does a couple of squats, all whilst staying at 0% perspiration, high ponytail in place and pretty. All of this and she manages to check herself out in the mirror. For one second I am envious, then I realise that she’s paying an extortionate amount to stare at herself. -The vanity of today is laughable.

Next up in the warm-up area is the trained ballet dance. He swishes his legs across the floor in such a way that I feel uncomfortable but compelled to look at his lady like butt! How does he get it so perky? In fact, it is always a harsh reminder that I need to do more squats ASAP.

Welcome the 2 girlfriends. Besties for liiiiife. Always together, always looking like they do sweet fuck all. Exercise for goodness sake. Always see them do a few sit ups and a few pumps on the leg machines and then what? The personal trainers are NOT hot so…WHAT DO YOU DO?!?!!?

There is always one smelly guy….he tends to arrive when warm up has finished.

That’s it for now…next time, I will go into depth about the Weight Boys, the Boxers & more!

x M x


The One Where I Joined The Gym

Soooo..it’s pretty obvious from this title that I’ve joined the gym.

I’ve not stepped in an establishment that had gym equipment since I was 15 years old and that my readers, is a long, long time ago.

Like most, I’ve made mediocre attempts at staying healthy and fit, but I lost momentum. Apparently, running jogging for 10 minutes isn’t something that my body liked or wanted to do.

But, enough was enough, I’d put off any physical exercise for long enough! February was going to be the month of Gym!

February came and went but eventually I got there. Even after POOR SERVICE from “Better Gyms, Porchester Centre” I decided that I will take my gym-starved body to somewhere closer to my work and home, and bring me closer to beautiful people. Hello, Gymbox.

It all started with a tour round the gym. Maybe it was the architecture (Ben Kelly Design) -the cleanliness of the changing rooms or the pumping atmosphere of the floor.

Whatever it was, I was SOLD!

Bring on the gym selfies, the workout gear, the flashiest water bottles and the surplus photos of my progress.

x M x



That Monday

I woke up this morning, on what the Social Networking world called the most depressing day of the year.

The first thing I thought was, I need to delete the Daily Mail app from my iPhone. No good can come from reading “stories” on how smoking during pregnancy can make your baby gay.

Nope, there is no amount of Kardashian news that will lure me in to that DM life. I put my phone aside and started to get ready for what could possibly have been the best day of my life.

Work started, work continued, until 11:45. 11:45 and JH happened. She brought in the best cookies I have ever tasted in my life. I can’t tell you how inappropriate it was for me to be moaning during the morning meeting but they were just so delicious that I had 3 before 12!

Cherry & Almond cookies?! Say what!? I would never have thought that combination existed, but IT DID! It was so delicious!

“Oh my god these are so good!”

“These taste like they’re from Marks & Spencers!|

NO – I love me some Marks’, but this was better than the baker in best flagship M&S store in the whole of the United Kingdom. Those are some bold statements but I will stick by them.

JH, I liked you before, but I love you now.

So after 3 cookies, Mangos from Tango and a cup of Earl Grey from one of the Half Baked lot, I was ready to finish the day.

But it was only 3pm. Oh Okaaaaaayyyy. I suppose I could fit being fabulous in between work?

The time runs away from me, the clock strikes 5:30, the reports that I’ve written up are sent and I prep myself for a trip to Westfield. I think the least I deserve is a few bath bombs from Lush for what may not have been the best day of my life, but it was definitely one of the best Monday’s at work I’ve had!

I prop my pillows up in bed and place my yellow Macbook on my lap andphoto start tapping out my life story. Let me just quickly, check DM to see what this Serial Killer selfie story is about.

Oh, I said I would delete the app didn’t I…Maybe tomorrow…Hashtag guilty pleasure (I can’t find the symbol on the keyboard yet..)

x Kisses x

The One Where I Got a New MacBook Pro

Am I too materialistic to think that the purchase of a new Macbook Pro will help me put fingers to keyboard and help re-start my love affair with my blog and the English language?

Only time will tell, if I am able to stop abbreviating every word possible and attempt to let the world know that my life has a little more to it than dating disasters and the next instalment of Life with Mum.

In the meantime, I will start tonight by posting this blog whilst watching an episode of Sex & The City (The one where Charlotte marries Harry) and pouring out a large glass of wine.

Mac & Gold HP

If you don’t hear from me tonight, have a lovely evening.

xx Kisses xx

The Orphan [Christmas Eve Edit]

The office is shutting down. The noise coming from the floor is irritatingly clear that no one is working and the last thing that is on my mind, but at the forefront for all is that tomorrow, is Christmas Day.

The mundane questions of “What are you doing for Christmas?” is met with lies, truth or a mixture of the both dependent on what type of mood I was in. My boyfriend has kindly invited me round his for Christmas. *smiles sweetly* Although, this does make me feel like an orphan. No parents or family and the stray has been taken in. So stocked up on gifts in the hope that I can mask my poverty stricken Christmas Ghetto and spread the xmas cheer!

The phones hang up, the PCs are turned off and hugs and kisses all round. I wish everyone a lovely Christmas.

Those with suitcases wheel themselves to the stations or into cabs so they can make their journey to their loved ones. I on the other hand, stroll home and turn that 20 minute journey into a 30 minute one. What am I running home for exactly?

I put in my key to the front door listening out for that familiar sound. The sound of a Festive-less home. I shout out for my brothers and no-one responds. Locked away in their respective rooms doing fuck knows. Gaming? They’re gamers. I would expect nothing less from a 13 and 18 year old.

I check my phone, to see if there is any message from my boyfriend. Nope. Only a few likes on my latest Instagram photos, nothing to make me feel whole or complete.

I take my earrings out and get into my bed with all my clothes on. I lay down and watch the last episode of Homeland and let myself drift of to sleep. Forgetting all my trouble and my woes….

I wake up. It is still Christmas Eve and there is nothing else for me to do apart from have a fajitas without sour cream whilst watching Ja’mie: Private School Girl.

Ja’mie: Private School Girl

I come to the realisation that I am parched. There is no soft drink that will quench my thirst or not rot my teeth so I opt for the more adult option. Mulled Rum Punch. Not just any Mulled Rum Punch, Marks & Spencer’s Mulled Rum Punch.

Pour a mug full of deliciousness with a slice of orange and whack it in the microwave. 60 seconds and I cautiously wrap my lips around the mug and drink up!

Festive bloody greetings to you all!

Think of me whilst you are all with your loved ones. I will be here, alone, at home, tonight, wondering how many mince pies I can eat before starting to feel sick before moving on to my beloved sweet treat of lemon GU cheesecake!

*pours another glass of mulled alcohol*

It’s Christmas now. Feliz Natal para todos! :) This song has me mellowed out, have a listen before you leave.

xx Kisses xx

Happy Christmas Sean, I hope you have the best possible day. Love you loads and I can’t wait to see you. xxxx

The Christmas Edit

8 months later, what has changed apart from the fact that I walked home in plimsolls, and by the time I made it home, my feet were cold and wet as well as my jeans. It was like 1999 where I wet myself all over again. (Just to clarify, 1999 didn’t happen, that sentence was added for affect!)

Winter or some weak version of it is definitely here and I dislike it, pretty much like every year. Once my birthday passes, what else is there exactly to say? Christmas, yay, or in my case, not.

Christmas jumper day? Screw you. More so because my boyfriend gave me sass and didn’t go shopping with me to get our matching Christmas jumper! Pah.

I have snagged myself a keeper and what he doesn’t know is that I previously dabbled in dark magic and he has been slipped a love potion more powerful than what Khloe Kardashian gave Lamar Odom.

Any whoo, I am a year older, and recovering from the fabulous work christmas party and I am doing okay! How many of you had burlesque dancers shaking their titties and winkies in your face!?

I wish I took more pictures to show you but I didn’t, so you will just have to deal with me, in a church, on a ledge, looking fabulous!


Me, green & fab

Me, Green & Fab

(As soon as the clock struck Alcohol’ O’Clock, I couldn’t quite tell you the sequence of events, but know, that everyone had a good time!)

2013, was very different from 2012 and I have to say, for the better! A great night with my work colleagues. It’s been a hell of a year but, I can’t say that I would change a lot. No regrets, just lessons. Blah blah blah insert as many clichés you can about becoming a wiser and stronger person.

Now, let me get into bed, some of us actually have to work tomorrow! ;-P


x Kisses x

XFactor 2.11.2013


XFactor hasn’t quite finished for tonight but I have to come on here and express my distaste at the performances tonight.

Let’s start with little old Luke-doesn’t-wash-his-hair-Friend; The boy doesn’t wash his hair, but I have to say, his performance wasn’t all that bad. I give it a 5/10.

Termera-shop-lifting-Foster: SHE.BORES.ME. Now don’t get me wrong, the Londoner can sing, but she isn’t likeable. I really don’t have anything else to say.

The boy Sam: Why is he here? His pops calling out Gary! Hahah “If it’s about vocals go judge the voice” bwahaha

ImageRough Copy: I love these boys they just have that little bit extra groove to them and I enjoy seeing them perform. If anything, might be the only reason that I watch this season! What makes me love them even more, is that the ever so dashing Gary Barlow loves them! Gary B, making it acceptable for middle class white folk to be fond of a trio of black guys from Croydon!

Abi Alton….let me get this right. Is the XFactor about the vocals or is it about performance or about having that something special? Whatever it is, Abi has a decent little voice, but she bored me. She can only sing one type of way and for me, XFactor has no room for that I am afraid. Be versatile, or be gone!

Nicholas “black eye” McDonald: I don’t really have anything to say about him. He’s young, sings and is Scottish. #forgettable


Hannah “Greggs” Barett: Good performance, but the real question is who is dressing Hannah throughout this series? She’s 17 years old and she is going head to head on the style stakes with Sam Bailey!

Female Sam – After all my negative comments about boy Sam, I am happy to say that girl Sam was fab! Not sure if there is a place for her in the charts, but who cares. Go forth Sam and shake your newly found self in that jumpsuit!

Kinglsand Road, OH GOD. I actually forgot that they even performed. 3 words: It was shit. (How are you going to sing a Michael Jackson song and NOT MOVE?! Don’t care if the James Arthur look-a-like has two left feet.)

WHAT? NO FLASH VOTE?! Not sure what to do with myself, let me find the answer in the fridge.

x M x