Thursday is normally Gym day. You would normally find me in a class after work raving to Jungle Music or shaking my hips to those Reggaeton beats.
Alas, I am ill. Not well enough to head out to the gym nor am I able to shake that ting. My body has failed me and I am bed bound and wondering what I have done in the past week that is punishing me by putting me out of action.
Despite only having been once this week, I remember all to well the characters of my favourite training studio.
Let me start with the bubbly and super friendly receptionist team. Nothing is too much for them. Not even my stupidity when it came to them asking to take a photo of me and me trying to get my driving licence out (provisional) for them to use for the picture. Oh no, it was them, taking a picture of me, standing there, in my yellow canary Zara coat. Thank you, good man. Thank you for catching me unaware, in my gym gear and scraped back hair. Thanks.
After you’ve spent a dying age trying to get your membership card to scan, you get through to the members only area. It’s hit and miss as to whether you will get a whiff of BO. It totally depends on the day. I find Tuesdays to be the stinkiest.
The triumphant walk you take up the stairs to the changing rooms stays with you. Why? Because you’ve made it to the gym and once you enter, there is no turning back!
Pop your shit in the locker, then you head out the back way so you can walk past all the people training and judge them.
The warm up area is my favourite part of the session. Who cannot have a good time watching the vanity girl. She stretches, does a couple of squats, all whilst staying at 0% perspiration, high ponytail in place and pretty. All of this and she manages to check herself out in the mirror. For one second I am envious, then I realise that she’s paying an extortionate amount to stare at herself. -The vanity of today is laughable.
Next up in the warm-up area is the trained ballet dance. He swishes his legs across the floor in such a way that I feel uncomfortable but compelled to look at his lady like butt! How does he get it so perky? In fact, it is always a harsh reminder that I need to do more squats ASAP.
Welcome the 2 girlfriends. Besties for liiiiife. Always together, always looking like they do sweet fuck all. Exercise for goodness sake. Always see them do a few sit ups and a few pumps on the leg machines and then what? The personal trainers are NOT hot so…WHAT DO YOU DO?!?!!?
There is always one smelly guy….he tends to arrive when warm up has finished.
That’s it for now…next time, I will go into depth about the Weight Boys, the Boxers & more!
x M x