Made in Chelsea – NYC- Episode 3 Review


Sneaking my iPad mini and headphones into bed so I can catch up and review.

I believe I have 40 minutes before the boyf wakes from his slumber!

……..Why has nothing interesting happened and I’m a good 10 minutes in…

Louise on a dog date with Alix, Jules creeping on Rosie and Mark Francis shocked at Victoria eating a hotdog from a food cart.

Wild.

Little laughs with Jamie being put in the “I’m not gay” situation.

Ahah! Famous last words, “Jules is not shady”

Cue his polyamorist girlfriend…with the whole, they don’t understand us act. đź‘€ creeps.

I didn’t think the sight of Jamie almost choking on a sweet would be that funny but I’ve seen that twice now and cracks me up each time! Haha

Stevie, Billie, Spencer…..hahaha

I loved watching Lucy enjoying telling spencer that Stevie was on a date “at present”.

OMG. Gabriella. The birthday present that sings….

What is she doing in LA? I thought she was in Europe? Chasing a dead end career? My bad.

Spencer…freaking out? Quite uncomfortable really…he’s actually super ugly in this mode….

So, the race is on with Spencer and Stevie for Billie’s affection.

Next time looks like it will be centred around her and creepy Jules…great.

Until next time…

x M x

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Made in Chelsea – NYC – Episode 2 Review


It’s Bank Holiday Monday, the rain is pouring down and the first thing on my mind is that I haven’t written up my review of last weeks MIC!

How rude of me! I was so engrossed with the cringe factor that I even forgot to live-tweet!

Before I get started, I just want to reaffirm the coolness that is Proudlock. He is just effortlessly cool.

Spencer; I was impressed by the rain drop sounds, but I feel like I can’t trust E4, therefore I don’t believe that was real.

JULES, what is his deal?!?? Spread happiness, be happiness or be super cringe?! Is he for real?

Obviously Victoria and Mark Francis in a church. Yes, yes and yes again.

Lucy, is my ultimate female favourite. Telling Jamie how it is. I was enjoying the honest moment, until Riley came through with her stalkerish new hair. What the fuck?

“You’ll never guess where I am?” – Erm, what’s next? I spy with my little eye? Alex, you little loser.

Jules, again. His serial killer eyes. đź‘€

Jules again at the party. Just creeping me out. 👀👀

The power-strut from Binky through Central Park. Boom.

Alex and Binky; it was great watching him grovel but shit got good when Jamie turned up!

The lies, the tears, the betrayal! I mean if Spencer is bewildered at his behaviour then you know Mytt is in trouble.

Alex, LOL “categorically, I did not kiss her.” So Alex what you’re saying is you doggy styled Jamie’s ex! *laughs hysterically”

I can’t even feel sorry for Jamie, because his boy code is messed up and I’ve watched too much of him in the last few years to shed any tears.

Spencer and Stevie chasing after Billie, my thoughts you ask. I don’t really have any…she’s a bit blah and therefore the situation is a bit blah.

I just wanted to comment on the ultimate moment of the episode, when Alex and Binky looked at each other before she got in the car……………..stand, stare, turn head, pause and get in. Hahaha

That now concludes my review for episode 2.

Episode 3 coming up!

x M x

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Made in Chelsea – NYC – Episode 1 Review


Okay, so I am days behind because this is now airing on SUNDAYS?! - I thought i would be outraged at this shift, but I’m not.

What I am outraged is 4oD, I mean there is nothing demand about having to watch a 1 minute intro ad and then 4 minute adverts in between?!

Anyways, I digress.

The episode was just what I needed to remind me why I love MIC in the first place. The unnecessary drama and the yahs from the over-entitled people that make up this cast.

From the last series, I was dipping in and out because it was all focused around Alex & Binky, but I’ve been sucked back in.

Lucy is back at her ice queen best and giving Rosie something to talk about! Considering all Rosie is mediocrely good at is wearing nice clothes, this is a step.

Spencer and Jamie up to their old ways chasing after the same girl, which can only bring amusement! Especially with Spencer’s not so shy boy routine with Billie, asking her to show him around. Poor Stevie, even when he tried to show Spencer up, it was still just a “nice” way of doing it! Get in there and “clean up” Stevie!

The producers/editors of the show now that one of the most important bits of MIC is the “Next Time” and boy oh boy am I excited! Alex turing up to NY and Jamie crying because of something Alex done!?!? Absolute genius.

Well done E4, I’m back and will be ready on Sunday for the next instalment!

x M x

Crying Jamie

Crying Jamie

Purple Pimp


I’ve not written a tube post for a while. But I just had to share the wonderful and irritating things that take place on le London Underground

The purple pimp; Purple hat. Purple Versace gold chain shirt. Purple trousers, socks and purple high shine shoes! Let’s not forget the purple belt and his hairy belly that was poking right on through his shirt

Despite what you may think, pimps need to save money so there he was, with this mornings metro, tearing out coupons for a mc Donald’s breakfast tomorrow morning.

I had the pleasure of riding the central line with him and this silly little bitch who had crossed her leg and had it sticking out kicking people as they walked passed and tripped up a drunk city gal.

That drunk city girl was slumped over the middle of the carriage pole. Was she with anyone? All I can say is her bag was lethal. Her and that stank alcohol breath.

Oh god. Leg swinger had gone and drunk girl had taken a drop into the seat next to me. Great.

Of course she tried to get the attention of Mr P to do some sort of “pimp hand gesture” and as he got off, asked him if he had a very important date.

Apparently she didn’t understand why Purple Ronnie didn’t find her amusing.

She swung her dry crusty feet in my direction and all I could think about was that her thighs, knees, cankles and feet needed high intensity moisturisers. Yes. Plural.

On that note, it’s bed time and I have episode 7 of The Good Wife to watch!

x M x

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I eat, therefore I am.


Today’s food choices have been bang on! I Loved every bite!!

Breakfast

I wish i added more avocado! Yum yum yum!

Breakfast; Salmon, 2 fried eggs, half an avocado & a pot of blueberries

Beef Stir Fry - Lunch

This was cooked to perfection!

Lunch; Beef stir-fry.

Dinner

Light & loaded.

Dinner; Bacon, prawns, peas, tomatoes with Brown rice.

Absolutely delicious and all under 500 calories each. Yaaaay!

I need to get in the habit of preparing my meals and snacks otherwise I fall prey to my weaknesses. (Sweet and salty popcorn & ice cream! Ask Sean, he’ll tell you about my cravings! Hohohoh)

I feel satisfied and I am getting into this whole drinking water malarkey! Apparently it’s good for you. #gofigure

I’ve also signed up to my very first graze box so I don’t fall prey to getting crap from the canteen or shop for snacks. That should be
fun. A little surprise in a box! Hopefully that might curb my need to get deliveries at work!

On that note, have a lovely evening and even sweeter dreams!

:)

Kisses xx

 

Why? (Shakka @ Barfly)


A quick one my friends. Nothing too taxing.

My question is for those that go to concerts or gigs and whip out the biggest phone/tablet.

Why the need? Is there a reason why you paid ÂŁx for this show yet you watch it through a camera lens?

Are you on the video production team? Am I missing something?

The worst, the worst are the ones who whip out their iPad. Why? I ask again, WHY? What happened to a simple phone for snap snap pictures.

Tell me your reason for this? Do you not like the artist? I thought Shakka (with 2 K’s) was particularly fabulous tonight. However, I refrained from filming the whole bloody set.

It could have been because my side eye couldn’t help being BLINDED by your FAT STINKING SAMSUNG. The size of an iPad may I add.

I almost home, my rant is over and the tube strike will make getting to St Pancras in the morning a ball-ache.

Kisses x

The One About The Gym [Part 2]


photo 220 days later and a few selfies, I found myself back in gym mode!

My tiny little T-Rex arms needed working out. Yesterday was a good day, so good, I all I could smell was success.

I was so in the zone, I almost forgot to spot my gym non-friends. I spotted the bumbling buffoon who almost knocked me out in Thursday’s Jungle Jam class. – Listen mate, it’s step, step, fly. Not step, step, smack.

We’ve got some newbies in the house, quite a few of them. Think they might have arrived on earth from the planet “I don’t train legs”. Upside down triangles fo’ sho’.

Look at me, who do I think I am? Commenting on other people’s physiques! (Used to do that anyway, but in a more, “I’m a bitch kinda way”) - Next I’ll become one of those personal trainers that don’t look like they’ve trained a day in their life, but still see fit to instruct people…

On a more serious note, have any of your had a gait analysis done? Did you benefit from it? What type of runner are you? I don’t spend a lot of time on the treadmill, but when I do, I feel the strain on my ankles with my Nike Free Runs 5.0. I really need to get that analysis done, corrective supportive running/training footwear is important! Any recommendations on trainers is welcome!

I had been eating well and cooking my food, but I felt as soon as I joined the gym, my appetite has become insatiable and I’ve been eating anything and everything, without a care in the world. I’ve grown a hunger for food that rivals my boyfriend’s! I need to fuel this body, but I need to fuel it with the right stuff otherwise this whole new life change will be pointless.

Kisses x

Toilet Selfie

The One About The Gym [Part 1]


Thursday is normally Gym day. You would normally find me in a class after work raving to Jungle Music or shaking my hips to those Reggaeton beats.

Alas, I am ill. Not well enough to head out to the gym nor am I able to shake that ting. My body has failed me and I am bed bound and wondering what I have done in the past week that is punishing me by putting me out of action.

Despite only having been once this week, I remember all to well the characters of my favourite training studio.

Let me start with the bubbly and super friendly receptionist team. Nothing is too much for them. Not even my stupidity when it came to them asking to take a photo of me and me trying to get my driving licence out (provisional) for them to use for the picture. Oh no, it was them, taking a picture of me, standing there, in my yellow canary Zara coat. Thank you, good man. Thank you for catching me unaware, in my gym gear and scraped back hair. Thanks.

After you’ve spent a dying age trying to get your membership card to scan, you get through to the members only area. It’s hit and miss as to whether you will get a whiff of BO. It totally depends on the day. I find Tuesdays to be the stinkiest.

The triumphant walk you take up the stairs to the changing rooms stays with you. Why? Because you’ve made it to the gym and once you enter, there is no turning back!

Pop your shit in the locker, then you head out the back way so you can walk past all the people training and judge them.

The warm up area is my favourite part of the session. Who cannot have a good time watching the vanity girl. She stretches, does a couple of squats, all whilst staying at 0% perspiration, high ponytail in place and pretty. All of this and she manages to check herself out in the mirror. For one second I am envious, then I realise that she’s paying an extortionate amount to stare at herself. -The vanity of today is laughable.

Next up in the warm-up area is the trained ballet dance. He swishes his legs across the floor in such a way that I feel uncomfortable but compelled to look at his lady like butt! How does he get it so perky? In fact, it is always a harsh reminder that I need to do more squats ASAP.

Welcome the 2 girlfriends. Besties for liiiiife. Always together, always looking like they do sweet fuck all. Exercise for goodness sake. Always see them do a few sit ups and a few pumps on the leg machines and then what? The personal trainers are NOT hot so…WHAT DO YOU DO?!?!!?

There is always one smelly guy….he tends to arrive when warm up has finished.

That’s it for now…next time, I will go into depth about the Weight Boys, the Boxers & more!

x M x

 

The One Where I Joined The Gym


Soooo..it’s pretty obvious from this title that I’ve joined the gym.

I’ve not stepped in an establishment that had gym equipment since I was 15 years old and that my readers, is a long, long time ago.

Like most, I’ve made mediocre attempts at staying healthy and fit, but I lost momentum. Apparently, running jogging for 10 minutes isn’t something that my body liked or wanted to do.

But, enough was enough, I’d put off any physical exercise for long enough! February was going to be the month of Gym!

February came and went but eventually I got there. Even after POOR SERVICE from “Better Gyms, Porchester Centre” I decided that I will take my gym-starved body to somewhere closer to my work and home, and bring me closer to beautiful people. Hello, Gymbox.

It all started with a tour round the gym. Maybe it was the architecture (Ben Kelly Design) -the cleanliness of the changing rooms or the pumping atmosphere of the floor.

Whatever it was, I was SOLD!

Bring on the gym selfies, the workout gear, the flashiest water bottles and the surplus photos of my progress.

x M x

 

 

That Monday


I woke up this morning, on what the Social Networking world called the most depressing day of the year.

The first thing I thought was, I need to delete the Daily Mail app from my iPhone. No good can come from reading “stories” on how smoking during pregnancy can make your baby gay.

Nope, there is no amount of Kardashian news that will lure me in to that DM life. I put my phone aside and started to get ready for what could possibly have been the best day of my life.

Work started, work continued, until 11:45. 11:45 and JH happened. She brought in the best cookies I have ever tasted in my life. I can’t tell you how inappropriate it was for me to be moaning during the morning meeting but they were just so delicious that I had 3 before 12!

Cherry & Almond cookies?! Say what!? I would never have thought that combination existed, but IT DID! It was so delicious!

“Oh my god these are so good!”

“These taste like they’re from Marks & Spencers!|

NO – I love me some Marks’, but this was better than the baker in best flagship M&S store in the whole of the United Kingdom. Those are some bold statements but I will stick by them.

JH, I liked you before, but I love you now.

So after 3 cookies, Mangos from Tango and a cup of Earl Grey from one of the Half Baked lot, I was ready to finish the day.

But it was only 3pm. Oh Okaaaaaayyyy. I suppose I could fit being fabulous in between work?

The time runs away from me, the clock strikes 5:30, the reports that I’ve written up are sent and I prep myself for a trip to Westfield. I think the least I deserve is a few bath bombs from Lush for what may not have been the best day of my life, but it was definitely one of the best Monday’s at work I’ve had!

I prop my pillows up in bed and place my yellow Macbook on my lap andphoto start tapping out my life story. Let me just quickly, check DM to see what this Serial Killer selfie story is about.

Oh, I said I would delete the app didn’t I…Maybe tomorrow…Hashtag guilty pleasure (I can’t find the symbol on the keyboard yet..)

x Kisses x